....Now I realize that school spirit is a pretty goofy thing to some people, but I’ll tell you something: I hate Duke with an infernal passion undying. I hate every leaf of every tree on that sickening campus. I hate every fake cherub Gothic piece of crap that litters the buildings like hemorrhoidal testaments to imagined superiority. When I see those Dookie boneheads shoe-polishing their faces navy blue on television, squandering their parents’ money with their fratty elitist bad sportsmanship antics and Saab stories, I want to puke all over Durham....
It's that day, folks! Game day in Chapel Hill against Dook.
It's hard to describe how I feel about Dook. Hate is much too tame of a word. Despise, disdain, abhor... those come a bit closer, but there really is no word. The word "Dook" should be a verb in itself, because that is how much I hate Dook.
To add to Ian Williams famous DTH quote above, I dook Dook because of Coach K's paint on black hair. I dook Dook because Gerald Henderson broke Tyler Hansbrough's nose. I dook Dook because they are only 8 miles from us, but so incredibly different. I dook Dook for their superiority compex. I dook Dook for the same stupid cheers they have been cheering for all 25 years of my life. I dook Dook because Dook players come to Chapel Hill to hang out - stay in your own town. I dook Dook because it's so obvious Carolina is better in any and every way, but Dook acts as though they are God's gift to college sports.
I dook Dook because I ADORE Carolina and there are not two more opposite things in the world. Carolina is green quads, Southern hospitality, Franklin Street and family. Dook is gothic darkness, Northern harshness, Durham and strangers.
Good battles evil tonight and I can't wait for good to dominate. GO HEELS!